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Bittersweet Delusions

by Prelude

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1.
Decline 07:07
So many times it would break my mind Spend every second to fall behind Thinking the worst is yet to come A call of duty to my decline Sinking and drifting away A life rotten to the bone Is it a dream, a fearful slumber I don't remember the last time I could Retain, my memories trying to feel The turmoil that is lost Reflection in the mirror I don't recognize this face Would you regret the one that will fall? Or is it too late to make it worth? For all the things that I've done And all the ones I never did It's a simple deal that doesn't add up I'm running out of people to blame So many times it would break my mind Spend every second to fall behind Thinking the worst is yet to come A call of duty to my decline Sinking and drifting away A life rotten to the bone The temptation of the void The light that never shone A dreadful presence, a creeping feeling Quietly growing by my side Leave it! And write my farewells Engulfed by these wicked thoughts Losing ground after each other battle And oddly I know how to lift the curse But once again it’s the same deal, the same way The same I could wait for the same day I stand corrected, another failure of my disarray For the night will keep the pain at bay So many times it would break my mind Spend every second to fall behind Thinking the worst is yet to come A call of duty to my decline Sinking and drifting away A life rotten to the bone
2.
Wonders 08:39
So many tears dropped at bedtime From those who can only wait Looking back to a bitter time Thinking they are born too late Any sense of purpose Falsely supplied by religions Has been proven worthless And here we are, fucking pions Blessed are the busy For theirs is the real comfort The only ones to be merry When so many are just inert I spent so much energy Trying to ring this bell But this was just an agony That kept me in a cell And Now I ain’t scared if Nothing keeps me alive So much sorrow and hate In the comfort of their mind Dreaming a world they don’t create How can we be so blind? I spent so much energy Trying to ring this bell A beatific reverie It needs to end Farewell... So many wars fought in the name of fate For a reason to give birth, to perpetuate So many ones killed for glory For nothing but a name in the story So many idles who craved for death Seeking Heaven after their last breath So many twisted ways to find relevance Nothing but blind arrogance So many wonders hidden around Without a soul, without a sound So few simple ones to remain To give hope and keep me sane Blessed are those who wander For theirs is the real splendor Blessed are those who care For them I would fight my despair And Now I ain’t scared if Nothing keeps me alive
3.
Ruins 05:19
Life is a game piped and cruel No winners allowed, hidden rule A never-ending cycle of failure And no one to search for the cure Posterity as reward for the braves Hasn't changed the size of their graves Puppets played like cheap toys Worms struggling for fake joys Filling their minds with wind Pretending they aren't dead within Fighting fire with fire The only outcome they desire Vacuous beings in disguise In the end, only ruins arise Aiming for a five-star afterlife An endless worship strife Insects idolatrous of better insects Giving meaning to their intellects Posterity as reward for the braves Hasn't changed the size of their graves Puppets played like cheap toys Worms struggling for fake joys Filling their minds with wind Pretending they aren't dead within Fighting fire with fire The only outcome they desire Vacuous beings in disguise In the end, only ruins arise Puppets played like cheap toys Worms struggling for fake joys Filling their minds with wind Pretending they aren't dead within Among them in this teeming anthill I want to crawl out, try to heal Selfishly enjoying their misery They will quickly end their history
4.
Hope 07:40
Leave Me Now Isolated among the living Forced to deprive myself from silence All I can think about is leaving A solitary absence I welcome you, Mother Nature Allow me in, I feel like a stranger I welcome you, giver and taker These impostors can’t be your creatures I lost touch with my kind Running away from them Not many to leave behind But many to condemn I felt growing this sadness An hatred so profound Blissful madness This incurable wound I find myself lost Beneath these elder trees This sunless frost Carrying my disease Without a living soul nearby Blessed escape from this masquerade I’m no longer afraid To live, to die I welcome you, Mother Nature Allow me in, I feel like a stranger I welcome you, giver and taker Among you I will safely venture And there I rest, hoping to save myself from a dreadful endless spleen Wishing my life was something more than a convincing smoke screen I drowned so deeply I can’t even raise my head I drowned so deeply I’m not even sure there’s something ahead I welcome you, Mother Nature Allow me in, I feel like a stranger I welcome you, giver and taker The irony of this world defies mesure I find myself lost Beneath these elder trees This sunless frost Carrying my disease Without a living soul nearby Blessed escape from this masquerade I’m no longer afraid To live, to die Without a living soul nearby Blessed escape from this masquerade I found a pale hope A bit of strength to cope I find myself lost Beneath these elder trees This warm sunlight Carrying a new fight
5.
Apathy 03:24
6.
Escape 07:16
You can see it with just a glance That you don’t stand a chance Bear this burden alone Regrets you won’t ever atone Nights feel like a haze And bring even bleaker days Month after month, year after year There soon won’t be a thing to repair There’s no escaping this meaningless end Watching your dreams decay Bury your anger, begin to descend Let your hopes go astray Killing time, ‘til it’s over Until you’re nothing more than a leftover Wasting hours, numbing your soul Acting surprised when it takes its toll Once a coward, always a fool Bending over to play by the rule And maybe you had your chance It could have worked in another circumstance You would like to be another man Disappointing since your life began You don’t want to care but you do You’ll never be able to pull through Killing time, ‘til it’s over Until you’re nothing more than a leftover Wasting hours, numbing your soul Acting surprised when it takes its toll Stumble upon the lies you told Why is it that you’re so cold ? It’s time to shine, take off your blindfold Deep down you know you won’t ever grow old Once it takes the hold of you It’s not going anywhere Always a part of everything you do Hidden in your stare Nights feel like a haze And bring even bleaker days Month after month, year after year There soon won’t be a thing to repair There’s no escaping this meaningless end, Watching your dreams decay Bury your anger, begin to descend Let your hopes go astray Burn the candle, forget to sleep A grimful fate that runs deep Every road ahead is too steep This empty feeling, let it creep Chasing happiness you will never find A quest for purpose that made you go blind Every step forward felt like falling behind Sorrow and grief to fill up your mind There’s no escaping this meaningless end Watching my dreams decay Bury my anger, time to make amend Hurry down the hallway Grab these bottles to drown down a few pills No need to write my wills Put my head up and tie down the noose Let my life go loose
7.
Vacuity 08:54
Tried to reach happiness And stumbled once again Shrouded in indifference Just to cure the migraine Tired of pursuing a ghost An idea of a better place Grown men swallowing their truth Drown secrets to erase Dreaming of the fallen ones Who were lost in the stream Already gone, while trying to feel The sweet touch of bliss Finding comfort in excess To revel in ecstasy Only wanting to regress And doing so desperately Put out the fire That is raging in my eyes Lay down my arms I will see another sunrise A desire of salvation While fighting against hope The cause, the consequences Never able to commit Been able to pull away the madness for a moment But why would that matter, if no light is here to shine? Been able to pull out the gun in a quest for atonement But why would that matter, if no courage is there on deadline? I will remain right where I belong, rambling and I would say it’s what I deserve A lonely sinner Nestled somewhere in time A miserable ghost No meaning, no goals Vacuous shell Mortal barely alive A lonely sinner Nestled somewhere in time A miserable ghost No meaning, no goals Far away As I wander standstill

credits

released July 24, 2020

All songs written and performed by Prelude

Covert art and logo by Gragoth

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